I get emo so easily these days, and I think I know why. In the middle of the night, sitting in front of the comp thinking about a lot of things. Bits and pieces of ideas flash past my mind, I don't know if they're right or wrong, is it true or I'm just being irrational and emotional. The comp screen stares back at me, messages are being sent, and I can't do anything. I feel wet, the screen looks blur, I can't look away. I try to organize my thoughts, but it goes running everywhere. You are not the only one hurting. I'm sorry, this is no time for me to wallow in self-pity, it just hurts so much inside when you've gone so far away I can't feel you. Why do I have to be the last to know everything? Why do I feel so alone? Why do I feel like if he's not around, my whole world will just crumble? It's so insecure, I've been too protected all these while. I need to salvage this whole thing before it's too late. You've lost trust, I'll gain it back. But please, you all have to let me do so. Don't push me away, I've fallen, its painful.

I have to grow up, life's not so simple now. No time for those stupid helpless feelings, no place for that dumb desperate feeling to come all over me again. It really doesn't work this way does it.